


A Pathetic Fallacy

by ezekiels



Category: Community
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-23
Updated: 2013-02-23
Packaged: 2017-12-03 08:12:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/696151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ezekiels/pseuds/ezekiels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jeff Winger refuses to use Google to solve his problem. Drama and revelations ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Pathetic Fallacy

**Author's Note:**

> Written for elvesarebad on tumblr.

Jeff Winger does not obsess about things, which is why the last week has been so stressful for him.

It is a problem easily solved by Google but Jeff doesn't want to Google it. Googling it means admitting he doesn't know it and he knows he knows it. If he didn't, then he wouldn't be so obsessed about trying to remember what it is.

He blames a lot of people for putting him in this position.

Firstly, Britta.

Not because she did anything. Shockingly, in this instance, she did nothing. She was merely in the room but she undoubtedly Britta-ed it anyway. Jeff has always been the sort of guy to cover all his bases when blaming other people.

Secondly, Troy.

He just had to ask, didn't he? He had meant it innocently, Troy meant just about everything innocently, but Jeff still blames him. Being innocent doesn't mean you’re not guilty.

Jeff is -was a lawyer, after all. He would know.

Next, of course, is Shirley. He wouldn't have gone outside if not for her and her baking problem. If he hadn't, then he wouldn't be so obsessed about figuring out what that stupid word is.

And, of course, Abed. If he had just had the decency to answer the question seven days ago, then all of this obsessing wouldn't be happening. It’s a simple question for Abed but, no, he had to look all stoic and walk off into the rain, undoubtedly referencing an obscure movie that Jeff will also not obsess about finding the name for.

He has enough to obsess about as is.

Eventually, it’s too much. The Dean walks into the study room and he just loses it. Maybe it is the fact that Jeff has some deep psychological issues surrounding Barney the Dinosaur. Maybe it’s the fact that Jeff has recently come to hate purple (or pink. He doesn't care. Both count and he hates them) and maybe, just maybe, that has to do with the fact that Abed is wearing a hoodie the exact same colour.

And Jeff hates Abed now.

So when asked why he tore the head off the Dean’s Barney costume and preceded to jump on it, Jeff pleads the fifth.

No way in hell is he going to tell them he lost it because of the colour pink (or purple. Again he repeats, he does not care.)

Later, in his dingy apartment doing pull ups on a bar in the doorway, Jeff begins to feel bad about it. The Dean had cried and for some reason that meant something to Jeff. And Abed had looked like he was about to burst into tears, most likely because seeing a TV icon being stomped to death is one of his greatest nightmares. Yeah, that last one definitely got to Jeff.

He lets go of the bar and drops down onto the ground.

He supposes it isn't that strange. Jeff has felt protective of Abed since that first year at Greendale. He has defended him the face of bullies, for gods sake!

He sits down on the couch and scowls at his TV.

Okay, maybe he doesn't hate abed. No one can hate Abed and Jeff is sad to say that in this instance he is just like everybody else. Like everyone, Jeff cares for the guy. He’s adorable.

Jeff shifts uncomfortably. He is not going to start thinking about his feelings. He is Jeff Winger. Jeff Winger does not think about feelings.

He wonders if Abed would answer his question and put him out of his misery if he texts him.

Jeff hurtles his phone away from him and throws a pillow on top of it in terror. He had been half way through a text to Abed without even realizing. Where did he even find his cellphone? All he’s wearing is boxer shorts and he is certain he left his phone on the kitchen counter.

He turns on the TV in a state of terror.

What the hell is wrong with him?

Of course, what else could be on television but an _Inspector Spacetime_ marathon.

Something stops Jeff from turning the TV off.

He falls asleep just before Reggie gets turned into a horse.

When he wakes up, he’s in a bad mood. And, considering that he’s been in a bad mood all week, that means things are really, really bad.

He has graduated from bad mood to full blown overlord of asshole town.

And he says just that to Annie when he calls her out on not having washed her hair that morning. The hurt pout she gives is very satisfying.

He flees to the men’s toilets and hides there.

Something is very seriously wrong with him. If he doesn't figure out what that word is, and soon, he’s going to turn into one of those villains Abed shouts at in the middle of a movie.

He doesn't want to be one of those villains Abed shouts at in the middle of a movie!

Why are all of his thoughts suddenly preoccupied with Abed?

By that point, Jeff is well and truly scared.

It goes on like that all week. Things get dark, both literally and figuratively. He stops shaving. He forgets to pay his power bill and they cut his power. He gives up food and replaces it with string cheese. At one point, there is even a thunderstorm that causes Greendale’s already fragile electrical wiring to give out.

That latter moment being the most embarrassing moment of Jeff’s life.

They’re leaving the study room when it happens and everyone is keeping a safe distance from him. It’s like he’s a bomb that’s about to go off, a stubble-covered string-cheese-smelling bomb. But that doesn't really matter. What matters is what happens when the lights go out.

That is when Jeff grabs hold of Abed’s hand. A task not easily done, with five or so people in the way, but he succeeds and then he is holding Abed’s hand like some love struck teenager and…

Oh god.

That is when it hits him.

He, Jeff Winger, has fallen horrifyingly in some sort of feeling with Abed. That feeling having a very distinct love aftertaste to it.

It is the most mortifying realization he has ever had in his life.

And then the lights come on.

“Called it!” Pierce shouts.

Jeff would give anything, anything, at that moment to die. Thankfully he is still Jeff Winger and Jeff Winger can handle situations like this flawlessly.

“What? This?” he asks, lifting his and Abed’s intertwined hands up like it’s not strange and he’s not having a panic attack. “Kid’s all knees and elbows. Wouldn't want him to bruise.”

“Aw, that’s nice,” Shirley says.

“So this isn't a butt thing?” Troy asks, brows furrowed.

Britta smirks. “I don’t know. Jeff is still holding onto Abed’s hand pretty tight.”

Jeff glares at her. “Don’t Britta it.”

“Oh, that’s not nice.”

“Well, I think it’s sweet,” Annie says, coming up to take Abed’s other hand.

And if she doesn't let go this instant, Jeff is going to wring her tiny little swan neck. Oh god, he’s the jealous type.

He lets go of Abed’s hand.

He spends the next week trying to convince himself none of it happened. But it did. It really did and now Jeff has to sit a Britta away from Abed each day in the study room and zero Britta's away from him at lunch.

Even worse? He’s no closer to finding out what that stupid word is.

Many string cheese filled days follow. His stubble turns into a bit of a beard which Abed has, adorably, decided to call Wilson as a throwback to _Cast Away_. Jeff both hates and a word that will never be mentioned Abed for that.

And, yeah, Jeff has removed that word from his vocabulary.

It makes for less blushing.

Exactly one month after all the chaos started, Jeff is standing on the library steps, staring out into the rain. It’s like that movie, Jeff doesn't remember what it’s called, where that guy stands in the rain at the beginning and then at the end and it’s meant to symbolize something or whatever.

Jeff wonders what the movie is called.

But, mostly, he wonders what he had been wondering about for the last month.

What in god’s name is the word for describing when the weather mirrors your emotions?

Maybe he should just give up and Google it. It's what a sane person would do. Google is thy friend and all that. Practically the lost eleventh commandment. 

But Jeff can’t quite make himself do it. Can’t quite make himself press that search button.

Because he is Jeff Winger.

Abed steps up next to him. He’s eating from a bag of chips, crunching loudly on them as he peers up at the sky. “Weird weather we've been having,” he says.

Jeff isn't sure if it’s a reference.

He isn't sure of a lot of things lately.

Something in him snaps and he just comes right out and asks Abed, “What do you call it when the weather mimics someone’s emotions?”

Abed smiles and Jeff isn't sure whether he’s going to answer or wander off like he did last time. Even worse, Jeff isn't sure whether he wants to slap Abed or kiss him because of that.

“It’s called a pathetic fallacy,” Abed says.

Pathetic fallacy.

Jeff isn't sure whether to cheer or cry.

Finally, finally, he knows.

Pathetic fallacy.

Pathetic fallacy.

Pathetic fallacy.

Pathetic.

“Please don’t tell me you've pulled me into a month long character arc,” Abed says. “I can tell you right now, it’s terribly written. I want no part of it-"

Jeff Winger kisses Abed Nadir.

On the lips.

In public.

And Abed is kissing him back and Jeff is almost positive he can hear a cheesy romantic pop song playing in the background.

“I knew it!” Pierce calls from the bushes (why he was there, Jeff doesn't want to know, nor does he care.)

Jeff gives Pierce the finger, still way too preoccupied with Abed’s mouth to care about anything else. And, honestly, wow, where did Abed learn to kiss? The guy’s a nerd. It makes no sense.

Jeff doesn't care.

When Jeff finally relents to breath, Abed eats a chip. It’s an incredibly anti-climatic thing for him to do, especially after such a mind-blowing kiss, but it’s such an Abed thing to do that Jeff laughs.

“The _Inspector Spacetime_ marathon is finishing up tonight,” Jeff says. “You want to come over and watch it with me?”

Abed gives him a light kiss on the lips. “Cool cool cool.” He steps out into the rain, like he did a month ago, and walks stoically away. Eating chips, of course, because Abed’s different like that.

Jeff smiles. “I’ll take that as a yes,” he says to himself and follows Abed out into the rain.


End file.
